This is really hard for me. I'm ashamed to make such a public declaration, but I deserve it; it's time to come clean about my infidelities. I've been cheating. It's true! I've been seeing Jack Daniels and Maker's Mark for quite some time now. Everyone kept it adult. There were no problems. However, I crossed a line tonight. I brought Old Smuggler home with me, and he's a nogoodnik. I'm ashamed of myself.