cynth (cynthtastic) wrote,
cynth
cynthtastic

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Nothing in particular

I've made a new LJ icon. I hope it doesn't make you dizzy or sick. I drew it, and it was dumb, so I thought I'd make it spin. Spinning, as we all know, makes everything better.

Last night was very fun. I ate too much at Wasabi. (Surprise!) Still, it was great fun hanging out with revvoice, saintdani, 1_dumb_mick, crashrose, and the LJ-less Friend B. Unfortunately, we were so loud and obnoxious that I may never be able to show my face there again.

Recently, I've been conversing (electronically, of course) with a dear old friend. She and I lost contact some time ago, and it has always bothered me. Though we weren't very close for very long, she will always be tremendously important. I firmly believe that, were it not for her, I would not have stayed in Pittsburgh. Also, it's much easier than Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon to trace every friend I made in the 'Burgh back to this individual. The biggest link, of course, being that she introduced me to alannabear, who then took me to FNI and later introduced me to crashrose. The rest, as they say, is history.

Being a consummate pessimist, I assume this estranged friend and I are on electronic speaking terms again solely because I have a service to offer. You see, she's applying to graduate schools, and I'm a freelance, amateur proofreader/editor, specializing in academic and/or admission essays. Nevertheless, the conversations that have sprung up around services rendered have made it all worthwhile already. She's given me some high praise, and we've even paved the way for potential, future, face-to-face interaction. The nostalgic trip down memory lane was very nice, as well. :)

I feel like writing, but there isn't much to say. Forgive me if I go on and on about nothing.

More often than not, it seems, I have a lingering feeling that I'm not doing enough with my life. I have this feeling of distress, more like restlessness, that I need to find fulfillment. One outlet is writing. Welcome to a more frequently updated LJ! Ultimately, I hope to write some material and drag my ass on stage at an open mic somewhere. Before I die, I need to try my hand at stand-up comedy; it's the only dream I've ever had.

Still, it's a greater sense of purpose that compels me lately. I want to do something honorable and of which I can be proud. I've looked into the Army reserves, but I think they're a myth in our current political climate. It's not a matter of if you'll be activated and deployed but when. I'd gladly dedicate my life to the fight in Afghanistan, but I decidedly do not think we belong in Iraq, which is where I'd most likely end up.

My lack of grace, skill, and physical ability dissuade me from many noble pursuits. I'm not agile or fast or strong. I like to think I'm at least averagely intelligent, but that and a dollar will get you a cup of coffee ... unless you're at Starbucks, where you'll need five dollars and a barista-English dictionary. I defy you to show me any, single coffee house devoid of elitism. If you frequent one and don't think you're bourgeois, you're deluded.

But I digress. You see, my job is fulfilling in that I enjoy the people, and the pay is sufficient. I've met a goal, which was to have enough money to pay all my bills. I don't worry about them. Life is sweet. Now, however, I'm free from that worry to consider all the good I'm not doing and the change I'm not making. I feel that I must have an aptitude for something that will help others. I want to apply myself for the greater good. Wise-ass grammarians don't improve the lives of those around them. There must be something else.

What is it? What can I do? My family has a long and storied history in the local fire company, but could I be an asset there? colleenrose18 has suggested AmeriCorps, and I will look into that. momtastic has suggested volunteering my time to tutor or teach English as a second language. I'll need to look into that, too.

I don't know what to do with myself, but I feel like I should do SOMETHING.

Thanks for reading this.
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