Garbage: taken out
Cat food: ... ... ... not found
Brand does not exist at two separate grocery stores. Must check and see if cats are still alive, as they've been subsisting on apparently non-existent food since birth.
Felt sorry for self (and the possibly-starved cats). Stopped at 7-Eleven. Got a Slurpee. Felt better. Got Slim Jim beef jerky. Felt ecstatic. Cat food may be imaginary; cynthtastic food is very real.
For months, I've been checking every grocery store, drug store, department store, and convenience store for Slim Jim beef jerky. Not Slim Jim Slim Jims. Not round, spicy things. Flat, salty things. Waxy. Leathery. Looks like a cheap belt. Probably tastes like a cheap belt to you. To me? Ambrosia! I thought they stopped making them. Glad to be wrong. Also glad to be in an area where Slurpees are still frozen COKE. Other parts of the country must purchase Slurpee frozen Pepsi. So sad.
(Cats are fine.)