cynth (cynthtastic) wrote,

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Blah, blah, blah

Did you ever wonder if the last time you had sex will be the last time you have sex? Ever? And you can't even remember it now because it seemed so inconsequential at the time? I guess the lesson is not to take anything for granted, not even things as trivial as sex.

Did you ever think you had someone totally figured out, only to have him/her say/do something COMPLETELY out of character? This is happening to me a lot lately. As an experienced people-reader, it hurts my pride. I'm beginning to doubt my skillz... I guess I need to reconnect with friends/family, so I'm not so shocked by people's words/actions.

Did you ever feel like you have all the friends you'll ever have, and that's OK? Like everyone you don't already know kind of sucks, anyway, so whatever? I feel like that a lot, and it smacks of arrogance and hubris. It's also a major stumbling block to meeting people/making new friends. I have this chip on my shoulder, and I assume everyone's going to be an idiot. Guess what! They don't disappoint! Preconceptions are stupid, but they're also hard to shake/overcome.

Did you ever feel like you're supposed to be alone? Like that's the only way you make sense? Maybe I'll only lessen and detract from someone else, so it's best for me to just be me, alone, unattached. (I want to use a word like "unencumbering" here, but I think it should be a real word that actually makes sense instead.)

Did you ever feel like you're not so bad? Like you're not ugly or irreparably horrible? Like you could like you, for once, without qualifying it with an insult or put down? Maybe I don't have to be self-deprecating to make conversation. Maybe that's actually counterproductive to fostering conversation.

Did you ever feel like you're talking/writing just to hear yourself, with careless disregard for your audience? I feel like that sometimes too. :)

This post carelessly unlocked, for now. Maybe I'll filter it up in the morning... It is the morning. Huh.
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