cynth (cynthtastic) wrote,
cynth
cynthtastic

puns for the lexophiles

momtastic sent this to me, and I thought I'd share it with you. :) I've also heard "logophiles" used for us word lovers.

> Lexophiles - lovers of words - will enjoy these. You may think these are
> just good puns, but in fact they're the product of genius poets and
> wordsmiths whose minds work in wondrous ways! For myself, puns only seem
> to happen for me by accident, and usually at the most embarrassing or
> awkward times! I hope you enjoy these!
>
> 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
> 2. A will is a dead giveaway.
>
> 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
> 4. A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> 5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
> Count that votes.
>
> 6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
> 7. If you don't pay your exorcist you may be repossessed.
>
> 8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
>
> 9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
> miner.
>
> 10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
>
> 11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
> 12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulting in Linoleum
> Blownapart.
>
> 13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> 14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
>
> 15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>
> 16. A calendar's days are numbered.
>
> 17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>
> 18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
> 19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
> 20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>
> 21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at
> large.
>
> 22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
> 23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
>
> 24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
>
> 25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
> 26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>
> 27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> 28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>
> 29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
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