cynth (cynthtastic) wrote,

  • Mood:

I am a jackass!

So, I'm fucking stupid. Just FYI.

I've spent about 12 hours finishing a damned jigsaw puzzle this weekend. I finished it. This was kind of like cleaning without actually cleaning. Now I can fold up the table it's been on for the past year and a half or whatever.

It's one of those photo mosaics, and the accursed thing is NOT going back in the box. Period. I decided to glue it, mount it, and stick it on a wall. I bought some Mod Podge for puzzles and a cheap poster frame.

Are you familiar with poster frames? Pressboard thing, acrylic thing, plastic slidey things on all sides? That's what I got. Well, it's meant for posters. Posters are thinner than puzzles, just FYI. Write that down; commit it to memory; record it for posterity, for the love!!

So, the plastic slidey things for the edges were not cooperating. The whole configuration was too thick. I fought and struggled and cursed and yelled and even punched the puzzle. (Oddly, that didn't help. Who'd have thunk it?) I got some tools: a knife, two kinds of pliers, various other implements that seemed like a good idea at the time. None of this hurt me, by the grace of God.

Then I had a brainstorm! If I slid one plastic thing into another, it would stretch it out. Then I could slide it out as I slid the puzzle in. I'm a genius! So smart! I rock! OK, let's feed one slidey into the other slidey, and ... OW! Sonofa...!! OWOWOW!!! Slidey slid out of slidey and into the heel of my hand, far too close to my wrist.

**Sidebar** I HATE wrists!!! Like a lot. A whole lot. I can't touch mine; I don't like looking at them; I'm not immensely comfortable talking about them now.

Fortunately, I missed the wrist. However, I did dig a 1"ish gash. It made my skin do that unpleasant flappy, peeling thing skin sometimes does, and that is gross. I promptly ran to the bathroom and doused myself with anesthetic antiseptic. Let's just say I hope the antiseptic works better than the anesthetic because ouch. I even put on an antibiotic Band-Aid. Then I bled on my hat, called my sister, drank some wine, peeled the bandage back, and took some pictures:

EW and OW! Just sayin'. Meh.

(This is graphic and gross. I'll regret it in the morning. Sorry.) Rewashed it doesn't look as angry:

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