cynth (cynthtastic) wrote,

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My head as a child (and a short rant)

As promised, here is a new picture of my head. This is my head as a child. Wasn't it cute? This was Halloween when I was about ... 3? Something like that.

Vacation ruled! It wasn't the same without my sister, Jennie, there, but since she was unable to attend because she finally got accepted into med school, it was hardly a regrettable absence.

That didn't make much sense, but if you think really hard, you'll get the gist of it.

So, anyway, we hit all the main attractions, i.e., restaurants, I wanted to while we were at the shore. I got some reading done: the first Sandman trade, Transmetropolitan, and Death the High Cost of Living. I also got a pound and a half of peanut butter fudge. Mmm!

While on vacation, however, (and here comes the short rant) I was reminded of something irksome that first occurred to me before my lovely Kennywood birthday surprise a few weeks ago. You see, though I was at the shore for an entire week, I managed to maintain my pallid complexion. Hold your applause. I can't take all the credit; chalk it up to spf 45.

So, am I ticked off at my Irish heritage? Not at all. It's nice; I like it. Besides, it made me the drinker I am today.

Am I frustrated by my proclivity toward freckles and complete inability to tan? Nah. I don't like heat, anyway, so it's no great loss. My tattoos look better on a stark white background, too.

How 'bout the inconvenience of slathering up with that good ol' spf 45? Is that what irked me? Nope. I used the good stuff: non-greasy, noncomedogenic, lasts for some ridiculous number of hours. It's Coppertone.

And there you have it! Coppertone. ... Coppertone? Shouldn't they be required to come up with an alternate label/brand name for this product? Coppertone is a swell name for the Crisco tanners baste themselves with to ensure even cooking. It's even okay for any single-digit spf sunscreen used for ... used for ... well, I don't know what the hell it's used for! Absolving one's self of guilt in the case of any future melanoma, perhaps?

**PLEASE note here that I would NOT and do NOT wish ANY form of cancer on ANYONE for ANY reason, sunbathers, smokers, saints, and serial killers alike.**

My point is that an spf 45 sunblock -- the equivalent of three hats, a muumuu, and a giant, multi-colored umbrella in a bottle -- is the farthest thing from Coppertone I can imagine. Call it Fishbellytone! Call it I Can't Believe It's Not Albino! Market it under any SUITABLE name you like, but don't slap a big ol' Coppertone label on the bottle.

Thank you.
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