I feel like I wasted all my drive and ambition on high school. My goals were short-sighted. I still have no career plan. In short, I wasted college. All I have to show from my higher education is insurmountable debt and a piece of paper I can't even find.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
I'm not a dumb person. I'm a lazy person, but can that be why I ended up working part-time, in a field that both doesn't interest me and has nothing to do with my degree, for the same wage I made at age 16? Something is wrong here.
In high school, my superlative was "Most Likely to Succeed." Why didn't I aspire to success? Why didn't I research a field in which I would want to succeed? Why was I content to rest on my laurels and strive for scholastic achievement at the exclusion of all else? Why, in college, did I lose even that ambition?
I jumped from major to major, ultimately settling on the one that didn't challenge me in the slightest. I cut every corner I could, and I graduated with an abysmal 3.19 GPA, though my GPA within my major was certainly much higher.
I guess, if there's a point, it's to ask if this is it. I think there's a very strong and depressing chance that I will never again passionately pursue any practical goal, and I don't know what to do about it.
Cut tagged, so you don't have to read it. Comments disallowed because I'm not trying to garner your sympathy. I just felt like writing all this down to straighten out my head. Or something.